


Crush(ed)

by BulletStrong



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Men are mentioned but unimportant, Swan Queen - Freeform, surprise surprise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 07:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8002807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BulletStrong/pseuds/BulletStrong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina is in love and Emma pushes cause she has to know who with. Swan Queen. Angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So classes have started for me and I've been stressing majorly. I started this story before school started and I never thought I'd get to it. So I'm splitting this into chapters. I will work on chapter two and I will post the end sometime soon. I write little by little.

Being the Sheriff of a small town usually wasn't much work. While Storybrooke had the extra element of magic and a revolving door of villains coming in and out, most moments were peaceful, especially after Regina had placed another effective barrier around the towns perimeter, one which included the sea. So most of her days consisted of patrolling until she grew so bored her eyes would droop and visiting Regina at her office. 

Emma felt her relationship with Regina was perfect. They had heavy, amusing banter and a mutual respect and love for one another, even if neither woman could say that out loud. Snow and Henry always commented that the two sorceresses were like an old married couple. Zelena liked to sing that childish song about kissing in trees whenever Emma went over to Mifflin for girls nights. She still questioned what Zelena meant when she whispered in her ear to "get it, girl" when she walked in on Regina snuggling into Emma's side during a movie night.

She simply shook her head and didn't even begin to attempt to understand her insane family. That one thing that concerned her was that Regina always tensed up whenever those comments about their relationship were made. She fretted over the fact that Regina seemed to feel uncomfortable that others mislabeled them. They were friends, gal pals, buddies. Sure, Emma could admit that Regina made her heart pound in a lovely way and her palms sweat with nerves. There was always an underlying excitement in every second she spent with the brunette. That was normal for friends. 

Putting aside those thoughts once more, Emma strolls into the Mayor's office and grins when Regina playfully glares at her for barging in without a knock. 

"Hey, Madame Mayor. I brought lunch." She drops the greasy to-go bag on the desk and plops down across from her friend, whose smirk grows when Emma wiggles in the comfortable chair.

"That bag looks drenched in oil. What in the hell did you bring me, Miss Swan?" Emma inadvertently shivers at the husky voice ringing in her ears. It's totally normal to feel a pang of arousal just by hearing your friend's voice. Nothing unusual, right? Anyway!

"I got a grilled cheese for me and the kale salad Granny started serving because she was losing customers to the organic place Dorothy opened up. Ruby really is caught in the middle there."

Regina hums as she digs through the bag and pulls the clear container with her food out and onto the desk. She throws open the lid before tearing the packaging of her plastic fork to grab her utensil and digging in. Emma watches the entire process and can't help but smile. They had come so far. Emma can still remember that day in the office when Regina maliciously used Henry against her, uttering "Your move" viciously. To be sitting in the same room and feel nothing but affection for the Mayor was astounding. If anyone had explained this scenario to Emma during the curse, she would've laughed and probably thrown them into a cell for public intoxication.

"What's with the smile? You look like you're a million miles away." Regina scrunches her nose. "Day dreaming about your Pirate Booty?"

Even Emma snorts at that one. Regina and Hook never got along. Emma assumed they had a negative history from back before the curse and from when he sided with Cora. While Emma certainly never forgets, she forgives, and Hook had put his best foot forward and tried to be better each day, even if Regina begged to differ. Her best friend constantly tore him down, telling Emma that he had done nothing to deserve being accepted with open arms. She'd rant that she spent years trying to gain back the trust of the citizens while he waltzed in and had it handed to him on a silver platter. At times, she found herself agreeing with Regina but quickly diverted and ran through the mantra. "He's good now", "He gave up his ship, remember?", "He loves me". 

Emma knew, even if she didn't want to admit it, that Hook wasn't her happy ending. For a while, she truly believed he was it for her, but as time went on she began to notice how incompatible they were as a couple. But she continued to plow through, miserable as they went through the motions. No one but Regina noticed, except maybe Henry but he'd been mum about it.

"Ew, Regina, no." That seems to satisfy Regina, whose tongue pokes through her front teeth as she smiles widely. "You miss getting an arrow in your bullseye?"

"That's disgusting, Emma." Thankfully Regina simply chuckled loudly, her eyes crinkling at the corners with mirth. Robin's death had been a touchy subject for a long while. Regina had felt like her last chance was obliterated with him, but as time went on and the town embraced her with kindness and care, Regina smiled again and was able to joke about her relationship with Robin. She came to admit that their relationship had felt forced, by Fate or fairy dust or whatever it may be, and that she felt more of a strong kinship with him. She would always be saddened that she lost a potentially great friend and that two children lost their father, but she also felt freer than ever before. She came to the conclusion that no significant other could make her happy. She had to be happy with herself and her family before she could think about finding someone to share everything with. 

Emma believes Regina is ready, and has been for a while, but the brunette explicitly stated she wanted no meddling in her love life, not after what happened the last time a nosy blonde attempted to set her up. Yes, Emma was nosy, but she was also incredibly stubborn.

"I think you should find someone to invade your fortress." Emma punctuates the statement with a wink.

"Absolutely vile." Regina snorts as she spears a leafy green. One of Emma's favorite things was how easy going Regina had gotten. Ever since she let go of the worries about the future, it was like a huge weight had been lifted. Before Emma continues her teasing, Regina shockingly adds, "I'm not looking for meaningless sex, if I'm being honest. I... I have feelings for someone and I know she doesn't feel as I do so I'm just trying to be happy with my life as it is."

Emma freezes then sputters, "She?"

Now it's Regina's turn to freeze, her mouth snapping shut with an audible click. She simply nods.

"You're bisexual?" Emma watches intently as Regina shakes her head.

"I don't fall in love with genders so I suppose, if Google is accurate in its definition, I'm Pansexual." Emma chuckles nervously. Her chest feels tight for a reason she can't understand. For a fleeting moment, she wonders if she's a homophobe. Does Regina's sexuality make her uncomfortable? She can't tell, if she's honest. All she knows is that the news makes her feel uneasy. Regina must notice because she clears her throat, her eyes a bit misty, before munching on another piece of kale. The awkward silence becomes too much and it makes Emma sweat.

"I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, Miss Swan." Emma feels guilt well up in the pit of her stomach. She can practically see Regina's walls rising in an attempt to keep Emma's hurtful silence out.

"No, Regina, you just caught me by surprise, that's all. You know, after Daniel and Graham and Robin, I just assumed, which I guess really does make an ass out of me, huh?"

It does not work how she wants it to. Regina doesn't soften, but instead leans back in her chair and folds her arms over her chest. Emma's eyes linger on Regina's chest and neck for a moment before she meets hard eyes that are seemingly sizing her up. A few more seconds of tense silence passes then Regina looks back to her salad and reaches for her fork once more.

Emma fumbles for something to bring back the lightness and ease that usually accompanies their conversations. She mutters, "So, who is the lucky gal?"

"Emma, please. Obviously this is something that makes you uncomfortable. Let's move on, alright?" Emma shakes her head vehemently, grasping for the last thread of hope of putting their interaction back on track. She felt like she needed to fix her screw up, even if she still wasn't sure what was wrong with her.

"No, come one, I'm sorry I froze for a second. It was a shock and now I want to be supportive of you and this chick. Please, Regina, tell me about her?"

Regina huffs and stabs at her food a bit too harshly, making the prongs of the fork bend and almost break. "It doesn't matter. She doesn't have feelings for me beyond friendship so there's no point discussing it. Better for me to live with this than allow a secret of this magnitude to be spread."

"One, I wouldn't tell anyone. Two, you don't know how she feels. Maybe she does have a crush on you too." As Regina chews on her lunch slowly, Emma begins to catalogue the information she's learned. The secret crush was a woman Regina was at least friendly with. Although with recent events and Regina's reconciliation of most of Storybrooke's citizens, it didn't diminish the pool of possible women that much. 

"Emma, you make it seem so juvenile." Regina's brown eyes roll effortlessly. "It's not a crush. I'm in love with her. And to debunk that last point, she does not love me in that capacity."

"How could you know that?" Her confusion makes Regina lower her gaze and take an interest in her hands.

"She's in love with someone else." Regina adds something under her breath that sounds like 'that lucky bastard' and Emma squints, her eye twitching as she feels a twinge in her gut. She has an inkling of who it may be but she doesn't allow herself to even think it. Regina breathes out unevenly. "While I'll never be able to move on from her completely as I believe she is the love of my life, I'll find someone that makes me happy. I know I will. Or perhaps I will find that I don't need a partner. Either way, time will tell."

Emma watches as Regina calmly begins to eat again without ever looking at the blonde across from her. She's not sure if that makes more or less nervous. She'd been told by many teachers and foster parents that when she was curious, which was often, she could be bull headed. 

"Who is it?" She tries to sound causal and truly ends up sounding like a squeaky teenage girl that's always looking for the 411. She has to tense her entire body in order to stop the cringe she feels in her bones, especially when Regina lets out a weary sigh. For some reason, Regina keeping all of this from her feels like betrayal and it boils her blood. She feels the anger bubbling and tries to stop it but her self control isn't too strong at the moment.

"Emma--"

"No, Regina! Why haven't you told me? Do you think I'm untrustworthy? I thought we were best friends!" In the recesses of her mind, she knew she sounded illogical. Regina didn't have to offer up any information about her private life. Emma knew deep down that this anger came from another place, where the gut feeling she had about who Regina's love was festered. 

Regina shoots up from her chair, plants her palms on the desk, and leans forward, bringing her hurt expression nearer to the blonde and making Emma feel like the biggest loser on the planet. "I told you I don't want to talk about it, Emma!"

"But I want to know!" 

"Fine!" Regina yells, her voice husky with anger and fear and hurt. "It's you! Are you happy now? I'm in love with you and you're in love with him even though he doesn't treat you the way you deserve, and you'll probably stop coming over and start ignoring me because that's what you do when you're uncomfortable or scared!"

Hearing the words out loud, Emma found, made her want to run. She didn't want to face it. Hook was happy with their mediocre relationship, her parents were ecstatic that she was with a "good" man, which really was debatable, and the town accepted her facade. They all accepted the Savior, a straight woman that allowed a man to follow her around even if she always wanted to run from him. They never looked closer or dug deeper. They accepted the fake smiles, the heavy makeup to cover the puffy eyelids and dark circles under the eyes, and the slumped shoulders. Emma just wanted them to love her, accept her. Would they ostracize her for... who she was? Who was she? She couldn't even tell anymore. She wasn't sure where Emma started and the facade began, and it scared the hell out of her. 

She kissed Lily once, in that house they had broken into, and she felt a burst of chemistry, something she'd never, and still had not, felt with any man. She knew she was gay, but could she handle everyone else knowing? She wasn't so sure. 

The silence must've stretched on for too long because Regina's eyes are misty and she looks defeated, with her shoulders sagging and her head hanging. "Emma, thank you for the lunch but I think I need to be alone right now, alright?"

And for the first time that day, she gave in.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this will actually be three chapters long!

It'd been days since she'd seen Regina. According to Henry and Snow, Regina needed time to decompress before she could face Emma again. Truthfully, Emma was grateful for that time, as it allowed her to think about what she wanted and how she wanted to live her life.

She sat at her desk at the station, avoided anyone and everyone, and just thought until she went home with a headache. Home. That Victorian house (not a home, never home) was a compromise she decided she had needed to cave to after turning Hook into a Dark One. He wanted the picket fence, with children, and her as his woman, doing who knows what. Her parents had seemed okay with it so she tried at first but soon after they returned from the Underworld, Hook continued to live on his beloved boat while she just wanted to go home, away from that mistake of a house. But where was home? Was it with her parents? No, as much as she loved them, her home would always be with Henry and Regina. 

That thought had startled her for a moment, but she realized quickly that it was obvious. She smiled with them. She didn't have to hide from them. She felt like Emma with them. She started to analyze her feelings for Regina. An after effect from her childhood was the struggle of distinguishing and identifying her emotions. All she knew was that Regina made her feel light and supported. Regina made her feel like the future wasn't so scary. In one feel swoop, it became so clear and obvious, hitting her square in the chest. She was in love with Regina and had been for so long.

The next dilemma was deciding if she was ready to face the music, the judgement of the town and her parents. She knew Henry would support them. He was such a great kid. 

Her mother must've noticed her thoughtful mood because she walked into the Sheriffs office and plopped in the visitors chair, and without any warning Snow whispers, "How long have you felt this way?"

Emma hums, slightly confused though her gut pings with anticipation. Snow continues, "You've been sulking. You're irritable, thoughtful... You're just thinking too much, and it started after Regina confessed that she's in love with you. So are you thinking about how to make this situation less awkward or are you thinking about how you feel?"

Snow White wasn't as dense as many seemed to think. She noticed things over the years, like Emma's strong belief in and devotion to Regina and Regina's quiet longing. A few times she'd thought they were on the cusp of becoming something more, but then Emma was with Hook and Regina was with Robin, and she just wanted to support them both. She always disliked Hook, ever since Regina told her about how he aided Greg and Tamara, but seeing her daughter so unhappy made Snow beg Regina to tell Emma about her feelings. She'd hoped that the brunette opening up would lead to the two realizing they are in love. Unfortunately, her daughter was afraid of rejection from her and Charming. She knew that, even if it hurt when she realized it. She truly believed Emma knew how loved she was by her parents. Obviously she and Charming had ways to go on parenting.

"I've been thinking about what she said and how it made me feel, how it relates to how I feel." Snow nods. She saw this coming, for years if she was honest. At first she blocked out the signs and just told herself Emma would do the things she did for Regina for anyone in need, but as time passed she conceded it was deeper. 

"Why didn't you tell her how you felt, Emma?" The blonde's head snaps up as she gapes at her mother. Snow knows?

"Mom?" Snow felt a warmth flood her chest. 

"Emma, we love you so much. All of us. We just want you to be happy." Snow pauses before finally making her thoughts clear. "I aided in taking away Regina's first chance at a happy ending. It's pretty fitting that I have a part in giving that chance back. Regina has come so far. She's my friend now. We just want her to be happy. And we think you two could make each other very happy."

Emma's crying now, the tears flowing down her cheeks, and Snow crosses the room to wipe her face with a soft tissue. She clarifies, "Honey, your father and I will always love you and have your back. Now go be happy, okay?"

And for the first time that day, Emma did as she's told.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma found herself on Regina's doorstep not even 10 minutes later. She's standing with her hand resting on the door, waiting for some sign that she should knock. Would Regina still be upset? Would she even listen to what Emma had to say?

The Mercedes is parked in the driveway and the light in the study is on. How fitting that Regina is in that room, where they had first sat down for a drink and a talk. Then Emma's hand drops from the white door in defeat. She couldn't bring herself to knock. She was terrified of the conversation that would occur. She wasn't an emotional woman, not really. She was more about action. 

She turns and steps down to the walkway and begins to pace. That's when she hears the front door creak open and Regina's quiet words, "Were you ever going to knock or were you planning to stand there like a statue all day?"

She turns to face the brunette and she's shocked by how warm her chest feels. She never truly noticed just how much affection and love she felt for the older woman. "Regina..."

The brunette softens at Emma's pleading tone and smiles weakly. "You're here."

Emma looks at her dumbly before whispering, "Hi."

Regina's smile widens slightly, almost like a sweet memory crossed her mind, and Emma finds a chuckle crawl from her lungs when Regina jokingly replies, "How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you've ever tasted?"

Emma played along, feeling a happy nostalgia filled her veins. "Got anything stronger?"

Just like old times, they sit down across from each other in the study with their drinks. The room feels heavy with anticipation, like a spark could set them ablaze, which was likely with the way Emma and Regina's passion for one another always exploded in grand ways. Regina shyly looks at Emma, her brown eyes practically begging the blonde to say something. So she does.

"I thought about what you said at the office. I couldn't think about anything else, if I'm being honest. You really shocked me that day and I did feel uncomfortable, but not for the reasons you thought, I think." Emma pauses to sip from her glass, needing that extra courage. "I was uncomfortable because I was unsure of what to do or say. I loved that you love me, but I was also afraid of you loving me. Everything I wanted, I dreamed of, was right there in front of me that day. You were offering me a chance to be with you romantically, to hold your hand and kiss you and take you out to dinner so you could roll your eyes when I order a grilled cheese. You offering me the family I always dreamed of, the chance to be in love and embarrass Henry at his school dances. I wanted that so bad, but I was afraid of losing my parents, of people turning their backs on me. So I took the out you gave me."

"Emma, are you saying what I think your saying?" Regina's hands are shaking slightly, making the alcohol away roughly in the glass, and Emma quickly crosses the room to sit next to her and take her hand. 

"I'm saying that Snow metaphorically smacked me upside the head and told me to go be happy. And that lead me here, where I'm happy... where I'm loved and where my heart lies."

"Emma, I need to hear it."

"Bossy." Emma whispers with a soft smile before scooting closer and nuzzles their noses. "Regina, I've been in love with you for so long and I don't think I can wait one more second. I want to be with you and be in love with you every day until my last breath. Maybe even longer."

Regina breaths out a shaky breath as she lifts a hand to cup Emma's now tear stained cheek. She rubs her thumb across the skin and makes Emma's eyes flutter shut under the affection. "I love you so much, Emma."

"I love you too." Emma responds without hesitance then leans in and finally connects their lips. They both sigh into the kiss, feeling years of loneliness seep from their bones with each swipe of the tongue and nip of teeth. 

And for the first time in decades, Emma was truly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all, folks! Thanks for all the lovely comments. I really, really appreciate it. Sometimes I feel like my stories aren't good and like no one gets enjoyment from them so those reviews and kudos are uber important to me! Gracias!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the story!

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think!


End file.
